Recently I've had to pack up or give away all of my possession. This has naturally made me quite reflective: going through items one by one, remembering where they came from, the part they've played in my history.
Some of the first things I 'saved' from this bonfire of my vanities turned out to be pieces of original art that I had either bought or had been gifted to me. This surprised me at first. But the more I thought about it, the more I realised that these items, more than any thing else, were an expression of myself.
Art = waste of money
By its very nature as a non-functional item, purchasing art is an anti-capitalist act. It is a waste of money. To buy art is to purchase something that cannot be used in any way as a tool or to produce anything else. It cannot provide physical comfort, assist with household tasks, enable the owner to improve their own appearance. Unlike clothes, food, furniture, tools, toiletries, toys, vehicles or almost any other purchase, spending money on art is a complete waste of the utility value of money (let us ignore the art-trade for the time being and assume all art purchases are made for aesthetic reasons only).
As such, our choice to spend capital on art is assertion of our individual freedom. Our liberty.
Consumption as freedom
To understand why each of these art purchases was so signficant on my personal journey, it's best just to examine their circumstances one by one:
'Jazz'.
This large magenta chalk abstraction on a black matt board cost me hundreds of pounds. It was a reckless selfish purchase, at a time when being reckless and selfish was strictly forbidden. A close friend and I visited the art fair in Brighton and I saw this picture and was just absorbed by it.
Being able to buy direct from the artist at a price that (I think it was £350 in around 2004) I felt was fair compensation for the effort and materials that went into the piece, this was something I just wanted to do. I worked hard, and always had. I was at least a 50% contributor if not more to the finances of my household. I rarely bought personal luxuries (haircuts, toiletries, shoes etc.) that would be considered 'normal' to other women. At the time I wasn't really cognizant of the control that I was being subject to in my relationship but this painting put those issues to the fore. I got in a LOT of trouble. But for the first time I was resolute and that painting has hung in my home forever since, and has grown into a symbol of my right to control my own expenditure and enjoy my own taste.
'Storm'
I have a beautiful small oil painting of an abstract seascape during a storm. It was a gift from a militant feminist artist friend of mine for helping her with a website. Because I can do that, despite being a girl. I love the painting because I love the painting. She is more known for her 'craft'-type punky objects and zine work but this painting is her being the kind of artist no-one can deny as incredible. And it resonates with me in so many ways for the emotions and outlook it captures. I earned that picture. I earned it through loyalty to that woman and her family when the voices of normalcy were threatening us both. I earned it through generosity with my time and skills which were given with no expectation of reward. And I earned it through my own self expression because I appreciate it as a work of art.
'Bandstand'
This mixed media on board is another gift from another female artist and close friend. It brings together a triumvirate of women, myself included, who battle daily to maintain their grace and purpose while being dragged down by the noises of men whose children we have birthed but can never value us. Will never value us. It is a spray and brush paint neon representation of a photograph of myself and my two incredible children. It was taken as we were watching my young friend perform in his punk band at the bandstand in Eastbourne by the third woman whose dervish of a daughter was rocking out in her pushchair to the music as we got a shout out from the lead singer. Every thing about that picture reminds me that I am loved, I am respected, I am part of something bigger and I am not alone. That I am one of many creative women who bring energy and dynamism to our world. That even when I can't, others can see that dynamism in me.
'The Warlocks'.
This is an original print of a poster from a gig I went to with my friend Polly Miles. Polly is 21 and runs her own promotions company with her boyfriend Ollie. We got close when I spread a bit of social media and audience love about her gig in Eastbourne. She has amazing taste. She is exactly the kind of person I would never had in my life had I stayed married, stayed subservient. I bought this poster because I wanted it. It is beautiful and I am legitimately part of the community that created that night. I was backstage and helping out with stuff. I spend evenings helping her with gigs whenever I can. Some years ago, even when I was getting paid, I was unable to go out in the evenings without my partner as it would result in objections, sulking, attacks on my fidelity, and claims I was causing him physical harm. So yep. This is something I want to keep.
We chose what we value
The points here are this:
- what I place value on is up to me. In having to sort through and discard my possessions, I found the things I placed most value on were not those that I could use, or that would have any monetary return if I sold them, but things that I felt defined who I was, that reflected my tastes and my experiences.
- to chose what I value requires freedom. A freedom that I haven't always had and many don't. Some forms of oppression (for want of a better term) are subtle. The freedom to choose how to spend our resources and capital is a powerful aspect as it ripples out from the individaul - we ultimately are defined by what we do (or don't) buy.
- buying art is a political act. Really. To spend money for reasons other than creating more wealth or accessing utility is contrary to the logic of the capitalist consumer economy. To value something that has no monetary value even more so. When we invest in non-material items (the joy of art) we undermine the resource and skills based economic systems that control society. We throw money away. We devalue money. We say 'this is more important to me than money'.
What is art for?
Essentially this process raises two big largely unanswerable questions. What is art for? and What is money for? I'm going to have to save answering those until after I've made the dinner at least, but it's beginning to feel like they are crucial considerations for the future of our society. I have been required to make a big shift toward a non-monetary lifestyle in 2016, and for the most part it has been art that had kept me on track, sane an positive during that time.
If others need and desire to move their lives in similar ways, will we need to readdress the value we place in society on the non-profit making activities, on opportunities for self expression and the appreciation of other's expressions, on freedoms over things?
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